I recently took a soft skill training course at work where we talked about a myriad of topics. There was one group exercise I remember where we tried to define the traits of a great leader. We each wrote traits on a post it note and then summarized the findings. Many of the things you would expect showed up such as good communication, honesty, delegation and accountability. However there was one interesting trait that rose to the top in our group named Vulnerability.
A couple months passed and I joined another class that focused on helping you grow as person. One of the main themes on how to grow and develop as a person was understanding the importance of vulnerability.
In two separate classes that discussed personal growth, the word vulnerable came up. What makes vulnerability such a good thing? I remember my wife and I were on a subway ride in Boston not that long ago. I was standing in the aisle while my wife sat beside a stranger, struck up a conversation and started telling them all about our life including some of the challenges we were going through as a family. I felt so uncomfortable that my wife was telling this person all this info about us. Even though I would never see this person again I did not like the feeling of being vulnerable. This was personal information! Looking back I admire the courage that my wife had and there we have it. Vulnerability takes courage.
The definition of vulnerability is:
the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
When we talk about vulnerability in the context of personal development we are mostly talking about situations that we feel we could be harmed emotionally. That definition is pretty scary, but when you re-read it a couple of times it says "the possibility of being harmed." Many times we don't want to be vulnerable just because of the possibility of emotional harm which manifests as shame. If I go back to the conversation my wife had with a stranger, I really did think about how exposed and open to judgement she was. Then the unexpected happened. The stranger starting opening up about a similar experience he had. I watched a pretty deep and open conversation happen for the 20 minute ride among complete strangers. One person took the risk to be vulnerable and an amazing conversation ensued. I reflected how I would not have taken that risk and I would have missed out on someone's else's empathy and insight.
As our learning group talked about vulnerability I gathered a few resources to share. These videos are not new, in fact they have been around for quite awhile. However, if you get a chance to dig into the subject of vulnerability it will provide some food for thought. It has certainly made me think a lot more on where I can be more vulnerable in my life.
Here are a few key takeaways.
1. Embracing vulnerability creates connection which leads to openness, innovation and trust
2. We cannot have vulnerability without empathy
3. Shame is the biggest antagonist of vulnerability
I have watched all these videos a few times and applying this stuff is not always easy for me. However I can immediately identify people in my life that have a firm grasp on these principles. In every case they are people I feel connected with and they are the people that have had the biggest impact on my life. Look for these people in your life as they will be a blessing to you.
All about vulnerability by Brene Brown:
In two separate classes that discussed personal growth, the word vulnerable came up. What makes vulnerability such a good thing? I remember my wife and I were on a subway ride in Boston not that long ago. I was standing in the aisle while my wife sat beside a stranger, struck up a conversation and started telling them all about our life including some of the challenges we were going through as a family. I felt so uncomfortable that my wife was telling this person all this info about us. Even though I would never see this person again I did not like the feeling of being vulnerable. This was personal information! Looking back I admire the courage that my wife had and there we have it. Vulnerability takes courage.
The definition of vulnerability is:
the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
When we talk about vulnerability in the context of personal development we are mostly talking about situations that we feel we could be harmed emotionally. That definition is pretty scary, but when you re-read it a couple of times it says "the possibility of being harmed." Many times we don't want to be vulnerable just because of the possibility of emotional harm which manifests as shame. If I go back to the conversation my wife had with a stranger, I really did think about how exposed and open to judgement she was. Then the unexpected happened. The stranger starting opening up about a similar experience he had. I watched a pretty deep and open conversation happen for the 20 minute ride among complete strangers. One person took the risk to be vulnerable and an amazing conversation ensued. I reflected how I would not have taken that risk and I would have missed out on someone's else's empathy and insight.
As our learning group talked about vulnerability I gathered a few resources to share. These videos are not new, in fact they have been around for quite awhile. However, if you get a chance to dig into the subject of vulnerability it will provide some food for thought. It has certainly made me think a lot more on where I can be more vulnerable in my life.
Here are a few key takeaways.
1. Embracing vulnerability creates connection which leads to openness, innovation and trust
2. We cannot have vulnerability without empathy
3. Shame is the biggest antagonist of vulnerability
I have watched all these videos a few times and applying this stuff is not always easy for me. However I can immediately identify people in my life that have a firm grasp on these principles. In every case they are people I feel connected with and they are the people that have had the biggest impact on my life. Look for these people in your life as they will be a blessing to you.
All about vulnerability by Brene Brown:
1. Embracing vulnerability creates connection which leads to openness, innovation and trust
2. We cannot have vulnerability without empathy
3. Shame is the biggest antagonist of of vulnerability
A beautiful quote to sum all this up:
There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.
-M. Scott Peck
